Posts Tagged ‘missionary’


I’m really having trouble putting all this to words so please stick with me as a ramble through this. “I am a international missionary.” This title has a expectation that sometimes to be honest seems hard to live up to. I know I have had quite the high idea of international missionaries growing up and it just seemed these people just had a crazy awesome life of ministry. These missionaries just seemed like “better Christians,” whatever that means. Now the problem is I am an international missionary. Let me explain a little bit why this is a problem.

Sometimes I just don’t feel like one! I know surprising right?!? You would think that being surrounded by people that sometimes I can’t understand a singe word coming out of their mouths would make that hard. Or you would think walking around on cobble stoned streets with people carrying baskets on their heads would give me a clue. Or maybe its the crazy number of people who offer me drugs in the street, or maybe the fact that any corner in the city seems to be a bathroom, maybe that would point me in the direction that I am outside of my culture with the mission of proclaiming Jesus. NOPE! Sometimes all I feel like I’m doing is sitting behind a desk with a teacher on the other side teaching me Spanish grammar.. Yup sometimes I feel more like a language student than a missionary.

That’s because at this point in my journey my wife and I are in the preparation stage. Yeah that stage that no one likes to talk about because to be honest… most days it’s not that exciting. Some days look like this; wake up, eat breakfast, read the Bible a little, got to four hours of language school, eat lunch, maybe have a little Bible time with the wife, attempt to do homework, then figure out what to do because you still have a few hours left in the day but your too brain dead to really accomplish anything. Yup that is a day, I mean once in a while a walk down to the market, and coffee with other missionaries happen but most of the time it’s that schedule. It’s crazy how much learning another language can take out of you! It’s exhausting! I tell ya you really don’t feel like a missionary when your brain feels like a vegetable! At moments you feel like nothing is being accomplished an all your doing is wasting time.. But deep down inside I know its vital for my future ministry in this country.

Then something amazing happens! The Lord reminds me why I’m here and how crazy awesome it is that I’m here in Guatemala talking about Jesus! The Lord brings to my mind all the kids at the Children’s Home that I get to live with and teach them about Jesus. He reveals to me the awesome opportunity I have with my language teacher every day as we read a passage of scripture together and talk about what we think it means. I am so blessed with a awesome mission and it blows me away that Jesus literally puts people right in front of me with scripture to use to impact everyday life. I am used by God, I have a purpose, and I get to participate in a life glorifying to God!  People will never be the same because of how God works through me. I say that not to boast about myself but to boast in the awesome work of the Holy Spirit! I get discouraged when I start comparing myself to my thoughts what a missionary is, but when the Lord opens my eyes to what He is doing I’m always blown away and thankful that I get to be a part of it.

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