Posts Tagged ‘do’

Love is just so much work sometimes. Let me explain, for almost the past two months I have been in Guatemala at language school frying my brain learning Spanish. When I came here with my wife I was basically starting at zero. So every day I go to language school for four hours then come home with a head that has worked so hard that thinking becomes a task… So as a result reading my bible has become difficult, praying for anything besides “Lord help me learn this.” has been a challenge. Thinking about deep theology has become nearly impossible it seems and all I want to do is well….. NOTHING!! I’m pooped! Exhausted mentally and I just want to sit here and let my mind go blank! I don’t want to read my bible, pray (except for help), or answer theological questions from my wife. I can barley answer any of my own questions at the moment!

So back to my first sentence, Love is just so hard sometimes… Like now! I don’t want to “stop and spend time with Jesus” or “just get in the word” or “lead my wife.” But the reality is I NEED TO!! Don’t get me wrong I still Love my wife and I still Love Jesus. I just have really dropped the ball lately on acting that love out. I haven’t been working hard in these relationships.. with the excuse of “I’m tired!” which we both know is well… stupid.

Ashley and I have been reading our bibles and praying but I just have been putting in a small effort when I know I need to be giving so much more. I am commanded to Love the Lord with all my heart soul mind and strength. I am also commanded to Love my wife. I know Love is more than just telling them I Love them its showing them, with time, with gifts, whatever is required. I am capable of more than what I have been doing. The Lord will supply all I need to complete His tasks. I just need to stop relying on this garbage that is my flesh and run back to Jesus. I need to continue to work out my faith, I need to continue building up in righteousness, and I need to keep reading the life giving Word of God. I need to pray with all my heart and be honest with God. And I need to lead my wife and buy her flowers a little bit more often.

With the Lord I am capable of completing all of my responsibilities. I am capable of Loving my wife, Loving the Lord, learning spanish, and spreading the good news of Jesus. I’m capable of leading my wife, growing my faith, and learning more about the Lord, my first Love. I just need to have more self discipline, put down the games and other things I’m wasting my time with and do what the Lord my master and King has commanded me to do. For one day I will stand before the Lord and I want to hear “well done.”